Something that I really, really enjoy is probably playing sports. It doesn't really matter which sport it is.
I think it's more of the aggression behind the sport that I love.
It's not like I have a lot of pent-up aggression, I think that I'm just really competitive. It's the fact that you can let out all of your aggression during a game, and by the time it's over, the fact that every has forgotten about it. It's like it's stuck in a box. I can go all out and not really have any consequences. No one is going to be mad at me for trying hard in playing sports.
I don't think it's winning either. Yes, winning is fun. Winning is actually awesome. It's a big part of the sport. But I would rather lose a good game than win a pointless game, you know? It's no fun if we're destroying them and I don't have a challenge. I don't think I can let out my aggression if I'm not being challenged. I want to be able to try my hardest without restrictions - that's the point of the sport for me in the first place. A place where I can let out everything and walk away in the end without consequences. I don't know. I enjoy getting my blood rushing. I enjoy being pumped with adrenaline. It helps me focus on being good at that skill or sport.
But it also doesn't matter in the end, and that's also really important. If you get really aggressive towards someone in real life, then they get mad and you have to deal with drama. Drama is the worst. I don't think I can deal with the passive aggressiveness that some people give off.
I don't like being in conflict with other people.
But if you get really aggressive towards someone in a sport, then it's just competitiveness. It's not like it's money or a promotion or a job or anything. It's just a game. There's no pressure of trying to make everyone happy. I don't know. It's relieving for me.
I like having people like me. Maybe I care too much about it. It's an insecurity, I guess. I like having friends. It's important to me. Sports is kind of like an escape from that. A place where I can just rage and be myself. Teamwork doesn't matter to me in the end. Teamwork is great, but it's not important to me. If my team is being dumb, but I'm doing great, I'm fine with that. If I'm not doing my best, but my team is doing well, I'm not as okay with that. Maybe I just like being good at something.
I guess playing sports is more introspective.
It's more about me than the actual sport itself. Like, it doesn't matter if I'm playing tennis or basketball or football. It's more about my skill level and how much I can do.